Think of us as Jeeves for your conscience.
In the modern world, more and more emphasis is being placed on doing the right thing, living a sustainable life. That’s all well and good but you’re a busy, rich person. Your time is too precious to be spent bothering about the lives of itinerant workers in Brazil or whether China should get out of Tibet. That is where we step in. For a small emolument, we will ensure that you carry on living your life the way you want to and the way you’ve damn well earned the right to.
What do we do?
We can’t stop your conscience bothering you but we have a wide range of tailored services that will quieten it to the point you can hear the excited giggles of your chosen companion for the evening.
How do you achieve these offsets so cost effectively?
Firstly, all our work is carried out, where possible, in countries with enlightened employment laws or, in some cases, no employment laws whatsoever. We also seek to maximise the ethical quotient of every transaction. This may be illustrated by an example:
You want foie gras and why not, it’s delicious. This is considered cruel and unethical so you feel guilty. You also want a down duvet. Again, good choice, they are very snuggly. Also considered unethical.
We combine these two actions to give you down and foie gras from the same goose. We also keep it in a factory farm, and test cosmetics on it. The people who look after the factory farm are given a below subsistence wage in company scrip which is only good in the company store and any financial needs they have we lend them at extortionate rates. The maximum evil in the smallest space.
That’s the Ethical Offsetting difference.